What It's Like For Me Dating With Eczema
Whenever I find myself in the throes of romance, in the beginning, I'm honestly always surprised that someone is interested in dating me. The thought that someone could find me attractive is always so flattering but there is also a part of my mind that questions if any of it is out of pity. Even when I don't have any visible rashes, I still can feel paranoid that once my beau sees them, that person will become disgusted and run away. Because of this, I often try to go for nerdy guys because smart people are smart enough to know that not everything is what it seems at first. And they seem to not be as concerned with physical perfection which puts me more at ease.
Early stages of dating
In the beginning, dating’s the most fun for me because I never expect much and I don't ever expect to see anyone or a long period of time in this stage. Everything is fluid and may or may not last. I'm just very carefree, happy-go-lucky in having fun and just waiting for something to go wrong because I expect it to. It’s preparing for the worst in an act of pre-self-defense. But, I have found that having this kind of carefree attitude is very, very attractive and before I know it I am with someone for a month or we have reached the 1-year anniversary mark.
Moving past the honeymoon stage
Because I don't expect much in the beginning, I know that at some point rashes will start showing because of one trigger or another (eating out being a common one) and that there will be a point that the person I’m dating with asks about them out of concern. At this point, I just figure that the end is nearing so I casually talk to them about the flare-up and that I'm actually not in a lot of pain (which is true these days compared to where I started), that this is the situation when I'm feeling itchy and this is what helps me when I'm uncomfortable. And then I wait for them to let it all sink in and maybe get freaked out, possibly questioning if we should be together anymore. But it is this casual attitude along with having no attachment to staying attached which seems to keep them attached anyway. And because I am so relaxed about it, they seem to remain relaxed as well because I know what to expect and they know that I know what's going on so they seem to stick around after this conversation which always surprises me.
A lasting relationship
And then once we start celebrating anniversaries around the 6-month and 1-year mark, I realize that my eczema will never be the reason why anyone breaks up with me, if they do. And that's the time that I’m with someone who’s genuinely attracted to me on a deeper level. At this point, I start to take the relationship more seriously and am able to feel a much deeper and sincere connection with them. Because for someone to stay with me despite my eczema and having food allergies says a lot about their personality. They see my soul and spirit and that is the most flattering compliment I could ever receive.
Have you been diagnosed with atopic dermatitis?