Eczema and the Social Alienation It Brings
If you're unlucky enough to have been inflicted with a chronic disease, then you will be all too aware of how destructive it can be. Living with atopic dermatitis has certainly taken its toll on maintaining relationships. I was with my ex for eleven years, and we were both unfortunate in that we were burdened with two very different conditions. Obviously, I had eczema, and she had OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder).
She had a burning desire to vacuum every five minutes and I was constantly shedding skin. Quite a comical situation if the harsh truth wasn't so cruel. We did our best to make it work, but in the end we decided it would be best to separate.
Eczema can impact all types of relationships
My eczema has alienated friends, too. I don't mean that people have walked away, not wanting to socialize with me. The alienation is more subtle than that. I can be on a night out and all of a sudden have a flare-up. It's usually my eyes that start itching first, then my face and neck. Friends have seen me struggle with this condition all my life. So, when a situation like this occurs, it's almost as if my struggle is not seen. It's just a normal characteristic of Pete.
The subtle alienation I speak of is that, when a flare-up does happen, you're no longer part of the group conversation. You're not present. It's almost an unconscious effort to exclude on their part. Sub-consciously, they are letting me sort myself out without interfering, which, in one sense, is brilliant. I'm not being shouted at to stop itching. On the other hand, it's awful because my condition forces me to have to deal with it there and then, and as a consequence, you push people away.
Sometimes my friends will acknowledge my flare-up. They'll say, "Itchy?", in a rhetorical tone accompanied with dead eyes. I'm not saying I want heaps of attention, in fact, the reverse is true. I'd be just like them if the boot was on the other foot, I'm sure. All I'm doing is making an observation of how living with eczema can be a very lonely thing. And it makes everyone feel helpless.
How can you combat feeling alienated?
There are possible solutions to avoid the sense of alienation, especially when at social gatherings. If possible, try not to drink alcohol or sugary drinks. I try to stick to sparkling water or lime and club soda. This reduces the likelihood of having a flare. If I really want to drink, a Vodka tonic is normally okay for me. Try to regulate your temperature; don't wear too many layers. Take an anti-histamine before going out and where possible, avoiding hot stuffy, crowded places will be a plus!
This or That
Does your eczema get in the way of your social life?
As for any hints or tips regarding relationships where potential partners are concerned...I'm still trying to work that one out. Living with someone or even dating someone is a far more complex situation. I wish there was an easy answer but it might just be down to the simple fact of meeting the right person. Who knows?
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