The Midnight Itch

For those who have read any of my articles before, you’ll know that my writing is usually rooted in storytelling. I tend to process life by reflecting on experiences and drawing meaning from them. That’s how I make sense of the harder moments, by looking back and asking myself, “What have they taught me?”

Even though I usually write through storytelling, this article is a little different. There isn’t one particular moment that captures what the midnight itch feels like. Eczema and sleep loss are so closely intertwined that there is no single story or event. It’s the ongoing reality of how the two show up together, night after night.

The itch gets the loudest at night

To me, sleep loss and eczema are inseparable. Living with eczema presents challenges throughout the day, such as getting dressed, preparing meals, showering, and so much more. But nighttime can be even harder. The itch often feels louder when the world is quiet and all the day's distractions fade away.

How does one adequately convey what it feels like to be awake most of the night, in a body that simply will not settle? There are nights when my skin feels hot and tender, almost like a fresh sunburn, layered with an itch that sits deep beneath the surface. It’s the kind of itch that isn’t relieved by scratching. It lingers, pulls at your attention, and keeps your whole body on edge. Many nights are spent lying awake, restless, feeling the hours pass until the first sliver of sunlight slips through the blinds or the birds begin to chirp. These are reminders that the world is waking up just as my body finally gives in to exhaustion. It is a kind of sleep loss that feels like permanent jet lag, heavy and disorienting, with no end in sight. There is no catching up the next day!

It takes a toll on everyone

On those mornings, I often don’t see my children before they leave for school. Thankfully, they are older now and understand that if I am not awake, it is because my body simply didn’t get enough rest during the night, and I am getting it then. Still, there are moments that break my heart, like when my youngest wakes me because she needs help with a hairstyle she cannot do alone. I want to say no, but I feel guilty turning her down when she needs her mommy. Sometimes this happens just after I have finally drifted off, and my body feels so weak that even lifting my hands requires every ounce of energy I have.

My habits for a better night

The good news is that while it can feel like everything is out of our control, creating an environment and routines that support healthy sleep can make a difference. Over the decades, I have built certain habits into my day to help create a healthier sleep. I am not saying that doing one or even all of these will guarantee a restful night. But I do find that the more of them I am able to incorporate, the better my nights tend to be.

One of the most helpful shifts for me has been learning to honor my body’s signals. When I feel tired, I try to get to bed early. It is not always easy. Many evenings, I am in bed before my children are even ready for sleep. When we push past our natural tiredness, the body releases more cortisol to keep us going, and stress hormones like cortisol can make itch feel even more intense. It is like adding fuel to a fire that is already burning.

How meditation changed my rest

When the pandemic began and life spun into a full circle, I was looking for something to help me remain as calm as one could be under the circumstance. I discovered meditation. It changed my life! From that point on, I found I could get pockets of sleep 45 minute to an hour. While it was not ideal, it was far better than lying awake all night. While the pandemic was a tough time for everyone, during that period I learned an invaluable skill, the gift of meditation, and it continues to help me sleep better and cope with stressful moments throughout the day.

Some of the newer treatments, such as JAK inhibitors in oral or topical forms and biologics, can be very effective for managing eczema and improving sleep quality. There is even data showing that children on biologics have been associated with improved growth, which makes sense because during sleep our bodies repair and grow. ¹

Practical tips for managing the nighttime itch

Here are some other tips that I’ve found helpful:

Even with everything I have learned, there are still nights when I get no sleep at all. Those nights are really hard!

The midnight itch is real, and it is relentless. Over time, I have learned that while I cannot control every itch or sleepless night, I can build routines, tools, and moments of comfort one breath, one pause, one pocket of rest at a time.