I’m still going through TSW, but I’m not in the absolute worst of TSW. I'm still homebound, physically impaired, and nowhere near going back to being fully integrated into normal society, so in a way, some of the pressure is off. It's like I have all the time in the world yet none at all. I get glimpses of what my mind is like and what it is capable of once I'm fully healed, yet there are times when that TSW brain likes to put me in my place.
In a way, that pressure is actually there because I want to start building some semblance of a future yet, I am using an old toolbox salvaged at a garage sale with key tools missing.
Reflecting on this crazy experience
Sorry if you've come here looking for answers. That's not what this article has. It's literally just me ruminating on this crazy experience because that's what TSW does. Completely f*cks up your life to the point where you literally hold none of the answers.
I'm just going to keep rambling about what I'm really feeling in hopes that in less than 500 words, this will somehow start feeling cathartic. And I can't help but think that so many of my TSW family will totally vibe with this incredibly spot-on, awkward article. By the way, if you've come here for answers, again, I am so sorry. Genuinely. Sometimes I have them, and sometimes I don't. And right now is one of the latter times.
You aren't going through TSW alone
Being able to go through this and write about it can be challenging. Read my articles when you're barely surviving TSW and wondering if someone out there is suffering as much as you are. Then yes, come to me - "give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free"...yeah, you know it's time to call it when you start quoting what's written on The Statue of Liberty, lol. But seriously, feel free to read my articles knowing that I'm right here, flaking right alongside you.
We're in this together
Do you have a pile of flakes right next to you right now? So do I! Are you wondering how you're going to start building some semblance of a future when your every day is still so random and uncertain? Other than, of course, the pain, oozing and flaking. I must say, though, that I am grateful that though we cannot control our bodies, we seem to be able to control our minds to a certain extent. Thank goodness, right? I have survived many horrific days of TSW thanks to the multitude of wonderful stories out there via various mediums - from books to television.
What about you?
But every warriors' story is different. So what are you ruminating about today as you tend to your wounds and scratch, oh so carefully yet absentmindedly? What are you grateful for? Are you still able to fully exercise despite the sweat and itch? Are you allowing your mind to take you places that your body cannot?
Have you taken our In America survey yet?