Being a Dad with Eczema

What is it like being a dad, raising kids, being a family man, while at the same time dealing with eczema?

Throughout my whole life, it has been a challenge for sure. I have had to deal with social awkwardness, insecurities, and criticism. However, over the years, I've come to realize this condition is a blessing; a teacher in a weird way.

What have I learned from my skin?

The hardships, the unexpected flare-ups, itchy skin, raw dry skin, and sleepless nights have certainly tested me, but at the same time, they have shaped me into the person I am today. I have a better understanding of life, and I have developed better connections with people. I have a lot more patience as well as empathy. All these qualities I believe wouldn't be instilled in me if I had not gone through what I had to go through. It set up the foundation for my character, which eventually helped me be a better father.

How did I meet my wife?

Reflecting on how it all began, I met my wife while going on a fall vacation to Toronto, Canada, back in the fall of 2009. My uncle played a role in introducing us, he had been planning behind the scenes for me to meet someone. My wife at the time had been working as a nanny in Canada for five years raising three kids, so she already had experience doing mommy duties. She is an independent, beautiful, hard-working woman. I am very fortunate to have met her.

We both officially met in Niagara Falls, Oct 11, 2009, on a trip my uncle set up for us to go. That first meeting was love at first sight, I had no plans of meeting anyone from Canada but there I was, falling in love, and 12 years later married with 3 kids.

Do my kids have eczema?

Married life has been a journey of constant learning. I always have the fear that my kids may have eczema, but so far that hasn't happened. None of my kids have any skin issues so that is good, but I also understand that this condition could express itself to them as they get older. I just hope their experiences wouldn't be as bad as mine.

Do they understand my condition?

My kids have seen me at times in a flared state and that bothers me, but over the years they seemed to understand what I'm going through, they even help me by not making me eat things I'm not supposed to. I'm allergic to eggs, peanuts, and dairy. One of the sweet things they do is check the food labels before I buy anything. At first, I had issues with my wife and my condition but every time she proved she loved me despite all of my superficial flaws. She became my biggest help, reminding me about applying lotion and cooking a separate meal that I could eat. She is my biggest supporter and I love her for that.

How has my family challenged me?

Like all parents, life with kids can push you out of your comfort zone and you have to adapt and learn at every life stage you and your kids go through. I have had my fair share of good and bad days - the kids being obnoxious, my wife needing help in the house, my kids fighting with each other, my wife needing personal time. Despite the challenges, I had to step up. This is my family and they need a dad that is present, strong, and understanding. So I've found ways to prioritize self-care and seek support when I need it. It is very important to have a support system - friends you can talk to, family you can go to. I love hiking by myself and boxing. These activities give me joy and hope. These outlets allow me to come back to my family and be present. You can't help others if you can't help yourself.

How has my perspective influenced me?

Ultimately, dealing with eczema can be a curse and a blessing, it all depends on your perspective, I choose my condition to be my teacher. It has provided me with strength, resilience, and patience. I wouldn't be the person I am not without these experiences and I'm blessed because of it.