The Transition

All of my friends got into the schools they wanted to, while I got rejected from my dream college. Oh yeah, my skin was dry, and at night, I felt like someone lit a match on my sheets and I was on fire. The only time I was comfortable was when I took hot showers. I felt down, angry, lonely, and unsure who I could talk to outside my sister.

My eczema was getting worse

As I continued going to the same dermatologist, my sister realized they were becoming very short with us, handing us a bag full of samples to "try" and prescribing us stronger medication. Although it made me feel better, the eczema would come back twice as bad.

I switched dermatologists

All I remember is being prescribed triamcinolone creams, ointments, and hydrocortisone. Also, we realized that ointments were more effective on my skin than applying creams. So we decided to switch dermatologists while having my medical records transferred there. During one of my appointments, while asking questions and giving her updates about everything that I had taken to date, one of the nurses came in, looked at my skin, and said nonchalantly, "Well, you're going to have this for the rest of your life." I was so distraught that my life flashed before my eyes, and I thought to myself, I would never want anyone to go through what I am going through, not even when one day I have kids. At this point, I thought to myself, "What is there to live for?" "Why am I here?" While the thoughts were there to end my life, I took no action. One night, I remember sleeping in my bed and God speaking to me, saying, "This is not how your journey will end."

I tried everything during college

While I didn't go to the school of my choice, I did end up at my local community college. It did not deter me from setting a goal to work, go to school, and transfer after a year while having eczema. The bus rides to and from school were long, and to avoid itching or the thoughts of my skin feeling like it was burning, I would listen to my CD player and sit still in a position until it was time for me to get off. I was a sales associate for work, and at times I would run back and forth to the backroom to apply lotion. When it got busy, I would try my best to move as gingerly as possible, so I wouldn't feel my skin stretching, breaking, and becoming blistery. At this point, I tried Noni juice, Irish Spring Soap, Dove, Dial, Jergens, Lubriderm, Cerave, Aveeno, Nivea, Curel, Vaseline Cetaphil, Keri, and Aquaphor. I went to an allergist and took the allergy test where I pricked to see what I was allergic to, which helped, but little did I know, scented items would cause flare-ups.

I saw a dermatologist on campus

My skin went from being dry to blistery with open wounds to having cysts and pus-like bubbles that either formulated clear or became whiteheads. I began to realize that my skin wouldn't be irritated if I wore clothes that were 100% cotton. I managed the year at my community college and transferred to the school of my choice, Temple University. While I was excited to transfer, I was nervous due to my skin condition. I would take the bus back and forth to NY to go to my dermatologist appointments. When I found out they had a dermatology department on campus, I transferred all of my medical records to the doctor. Once, I met a dermatologist who sat down with me and explained what medicines were effective for my skin at that time. I was prescribed the triamcinolone ointment and an oral anti-itch medication, my skin felt relieved and clear, and I thought I was cured! No, not quite yet!

My skin went back to bad

When I went back for a follow-up, I found out the dermatologist retired after being one for 30 plus years, and what did this mean for my skin? It went right back to where it all began. Going to different dermatologists only put my skin back to when nothing worked. My college experience went from hopeful to a complete disaster. Being a collegiate athlete, I would get dressed alone, not stand near anyone, so they wouldn't "stare at my skin." While I tried to make the best of it, my skin would not respond well to the stresses, lotions, and medications I was taking. I went back to wearing long-sleeved shirts, wiping and cleaning up the dead skin off of my bed, and wearing jeans all year round. The only outlet that I had was exercising. Even a mere sweat would inflame my skin where it felt like it was burning. The only comfort I had was taking hot showers, sleeping still at night, and applying lotion that only worked for minutes at a time.