Dating During Covid
If you told the Linette of a year ago that in the fall of 2020 I would be going through TSW, living through a pandemic, AND seriously dating someone, I would laugh at you and assume that we were playing "Two Truths and a Lie." The lie being me seriously dating someone. Heck, I would even laugh at the thought of me dating someone period, let alone dating someone seriously?
The ups and downs of 2020
Geez. What a year 2020 has been. You’re ready for it to end? So am I. But before that, let me tell you about the unexpected positives I have experienced this year in dating, despite all the negatives I have experienced in TSW and this pandemic.
Getting out of a toxic relationship
But first - so you’ll understand where my mind was at when I first started dating this year - I had ended the most toxic relationship I had ever been in back in 2018. It would be considered toxic in any person’s book. It had left my body in it’s worst state physically (TSA and TSW), mentally, and emotionally. I remember coming back home to California, and when a man would come anywhere near me, I would just look the other way. Just the idea of men made me sick. I wish I was being dramatic but I distinctly recall my stomach getting queasy when even thinking about dating.
Emotional intimacy and opening up
In mid-2018 I forced myself to start talking to men again. This is when I learned that if you talk to someone intimately, you will discover the multitude of unresolved issues from your last relationship, which isn’t the most attractive look, Linette - honestly. Just get a therapist. Fast forward to the end of 2019 when I slowly emerged from the worst bits of TSW and slowly started to have hints of a sex drive.
Taking my time in the next relationship
When talking to my girlfriends about dating, I told them that if I even considered dating in the next five to ten years (yup, I honestly thought that it would be that long). I wanted to really take my time with this future guy and be friends first before any of that physical business.
Not rushing into thinngs, physically
Not that being physical with someone from the get-go is bad. It’s not. Don’t let society shame you into thinking that. But when your last relationship goes south, you start dissecting it to figure out what went wrong and what you could have done differently. With this last relationship, I rushed things in the physical department. Since the definition of insanity is when you do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result, I had to learn.
Finally in a healthy relationship
Well, remember what people say - be careful what you ask for. Remember how I said I wanted to be friends first with whatever romantic interest I had in the future? And how I really wanted to take things slow and not rush into the physical side of things? Well, guess what 2020 gave me? The most wonderful relationship where I finally feel emotionally-supported and understood by my equal. But wait for it: he lives in London. I live in California. Yup, that’s an eight-hour time difference. And guess how long we have been together now? 10 months. TEN. We still have not met in person. (to be continued) #becarefulwhatyouaskfor #longdistancerelationship #nevermets
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