Finding the Meaning in All of This

Over the last few years, things have been really tough. I wouldn’t mind betting that anyone with a chronic illness would feel the same. When I stop and think about how sick I became during the pandemic, it makes me think: How the hell did I get through it?

How has my eczema been?

My eczema became unpredictable and spread throughout my body. I developed open sores, and my skin was weepy and itchy beyond belief. My chest was tight, and my breathing was labored. I felt I wasn't completely in control of my asthma which is a really scary thing. Toward the end of the lockdown in the UK, I developed shingles and impetigo. Excuse my language, but it was a f*cking nightmare. I had some seriously dark thoughts at the time, but thankfully my brain shut these thoughts down very quickly.

What's my advice?

To anyone going through seriously debilitating illnesses like mine and maybe having a tough time mentally: You can get through this. You must! As I type this, I realize that it is very easy to offer this advice. If anyone had said this to me during my worst time, I would not have responded so kindly.

But we have to keep on keeping on. We have to find a deeper meaning in life. Bury yourself in a passion. If you haven’t got one, see if you can find one. Music is my therapy. Just recently, I got back in touch with an ex-band buddy, and we are making music. Words cannot describe the euphoria that comes from creating a little piece of music. It’s like medicine. Just imagine finding your own medicine?!!

How is my phototherapy going?

I am well into my phototherapy course, and without wanting to jinx the whole thing, things seem to be improving. That is why I have been able to get back out there and get in touch with people. My friends and family are noticing the difference in my skin. Although today is not a great day as I am battling with my allergies and this always makes me look worse than I really am. But generally, things seem to be getting better.

What does my nurse have to say?

In my last session, I put a question to my nurse. "When I go away to a warmer climate, it usually takes up to 10-14 days for my skin to really clear. And I am sporting a tan. How is it clearing only after 2-3 mins in the booth after a week or two after treatment?" She responded by saying that the UVB rays are concentrated and can change the DNA of the skin.

I'm not if this is true or not, but she seemed pretty confident. Is there anyone out there that can shed any light? excuse the pun!

How do I feel about the future?

Anyway, I am just happy things are looking brighter, and I can focus on different and exciting projects that are coming up. Finally, it is important to find the meaning in all this. It might just keep us sane.