Navigating Social Anxiety & Eczema

One of the most difficult parts of dealing with conditions like eczema or TSW (topical steroid withdrawal), has been the visibility piece of it, in my experience.

The sheer fact that my pain and wounds (literally) show up on the surface of my skin, especially my face, is something I am still learning to manage and accept.

Why did I hide and isolate myself?

Skin conditions cause us so much embarrassment and even shame - so much so, that many of us begin to hide from the world. In my case, that’s exactly what I did for a big part of my journey, especially going through TSW and being bedridden for 6 years. Any kind of social interaction and activity became foreign and distant. For many years, I couldn’t remember the last time I had a hug from someone or any human touch.

This was more than just social anxiety in my case, as I was completely isolated for so long. And it’s certainly been a journey of healing this, and continues to be. To this day, it’s still a struggle.

How have I been putting myself out there?

However, at some point, I no longer wanted to hide behind the false armor of “I don’t need anyone,” and “I’m just fine alone.” After all, I was only fooling myself. Human beings are social creatures, and we need connection and intimacy. So, I started working on socializing more and taking risks again to be open and vulnerable to others - despite how out of my comfort zone it was and still continues to be.

In the last year, I even allowed myself to fully open up to someone and get into a close relationship after 6 years of being single. It took a lot of courage and bravery to overcome my social anxiety and take that risk. But last month, somewhat surprising even my own self, I even went on a vacation with my boyfriend for 3 weeks, and while it was terrifying, it was absolutely worth it.

What do I do when I have bad eczema flare ups?

While this is huge progress for me and continues to be something I have to work on, I’ve gotten much better at drawing boundaries and listening to my body in regards to socializing. It’s a balance between pushing myself out of my comfort zone and honoring my body and my needs.

There are still many days where I’m having a bad skin flare up (even right now as I write this, I’m struggling with one). On those days, I’ve learned to give myself grace and compassion if I have to cancel any appointments, scheduled plans, etc. Most of the people close to me are understanding of my situation and completely get it. And frankly, if someone doesn’t get it and it is an issue for them, they’re not my people anyway!

What have I learned along the way?

So if you are like me and struggle with social anxiety, cancelling plans, and just being “visible” in general with your skin and eczema - give yourself grace. It’s okay to have days where you don’t let your eczema or TSW dictate what you do or don’t do. But it’s also okay to have days where you do, and you just need to hermit and be on your own to rest and recharge.

Slowly, I’m learning to balance the two and accept both. And in my opinion, it’s an important part of healing. At the end of the day, there are no rules, and we have to listen to what we feel is best for us and our bodies.