You Can't Always See What Others See

This month has been a bit more of a challenge for me. I've been having a few more bad days than good. Both my Crohn's disease and my eczema have been acting up and it's basically because of me.

Taking medication for my Crohn's

I take a $20,000 injection every 30 days and for some reason, this month I completely forgot. I had the medication in the refrigerator, but couldn't remember exactly when I'd taken it the month prior. Because of this, I couldn't figure out when exactly to take my medication and really dropped the ball this month.

Crohn's symptoms coming back

Although my medication is intended to treat my Crohn's disease, it's also helped a lot with my eczema. Usually, when taking the medication at the proper dose (and time) my Crohn's disease symptoms subside and my eczema stays in remission. Even though I couldn't remember when I took my medicine last month, I saw obvious signs and changes in my body. My Crohn's disease symptoms began to get a bit more bothersome. I began to get tired more often. I stopped enjoying things like going to the gym or eating snacks, etc.

Dry skin patch

Sure my skin was aggravated, but I didn't notice any major changes. At times it became extremely dry, but my skin is always dry, even the skin that isn't impacted by eczema. For the past week or so, one patch, in particular, has been especially annoying. It's been driving me crazy and although I've been scratching like crazy, I didn't notice anything too out of place with its appearance. But having someone else take a second look will always show the truth.

My sister's reaction

I was standing in the bathroom when my sister approached me in shock. She began asking me what happened and genuinely seemed worried. I stood in shock for a second with no idea what to think when she grabbed my arm and pointed to the exact flared spot that had been aggravating me so much. I didn't know what to say. She knows I have eczema so for her to believe something was wrong was worrisome for myself. I looked down, analyzing the patch, speechless. I didn't know how to explain it any better than eczema, but that seemed to be the only word I could mutter at the time. She compared it to something, but I didn't stick around to hear what. I left the room, confused.

Wondering what other's reactions were

I didn't understand how something could look so normal to me, yet so off to everyone else. I began to wonder how many people had seen my arm and saw the same thing, thinking the same thing. I tried to think back to every place I'd recently gone, every person I'd recently met, wondering what they thought of my skin. Trying to remember if I saw them stare or look uncomfortable during our time together.

It's a bit odd that I can see one thing, with my very own eyes, on my very own body. Yet the world around me can see something completely different.