Beep! Beep! Nothing to See Here!

One of the main drawbacks for me about the summertime is having to wear less and showing off certain body parts. I've had atopic dermatitis all my life, and I still have not gotten used to having my arms and legs exposed for all to gawk at.

I look at people who use social media to highlight their struggle with eczema, and I have to take my hat off to them. It takes so much courage to own and be proud of your body to go online and post pictures. I do not possess that courage.

Working around eczema

Working as a driving instructor means that I am responsible for the safety and well-being of my students. It's a big responsibility, so why am I mentioning this? Well, it is yet another 'hang up' of mine that if I am going through a bad time with my eczema, which I am in a terrible way with currently, I do not want to give off the vibe that I am sickly.

I am struggling

I have noticed that some students are extremely perceptive and can tell I am struggling, and I feel that they lose a little confidence in me. I love teaching people to drive, but when I am sick, I really struggle. Then, add in the hot summer season. Wearing cotton shirts and tops is a must. However, people can visibly see what you are going through, and I personally feel it is not a great look if you are doing a professional job.

My students lose confidence in me

You are meant to give positive instructions in a clear, concise, and confident manner, but if you are struggling to move and are in extreme pain, it obviously affects your confidence which is then projected onto the student. If they feel that there is a lack of confidence in their teacher, they will undoubtedly lose a little too. How on earth do I get around this?!!

I can't face the working day

Today, I have had to take the day off work. I had an awful night and only got around two hours of sleep. I am not quite sure what I am going to do. My skin needs medical attention, and I am holding back from seeing anyone until my appointment with my specialist on the 23rd. I absolutely hate letting people down, but I have no choice today. My students are good as gold, and I think they understand. Of course, I never tell them the real reason for canceling on them is due to my eczema. It looks like a weak excuse. A part of me thinks that they know the real reason, but anyhow, I am very lucky to have a lovely bunch of people who understand that I need time to recover.

So how can I write?

Some may say, "Oh, you've had the day off, and you are writing a nice little article for AtopicDermatitis.net... you're okay!!!" Three things:

1. I always say this, but I feel so fortunate to be a part of this community. It enables me to vent, help and relate to others going through the same things, so it would be a crime if I didn't use this little platform I have been given.
2. I find it fairly easy to write quickly, especially when I'm in full venting mode.
3. As all eczema warriors will know, there are these tiny little windows of relief that we get. Thank the lord! And I am in that window right now.