Losing Confidence Because of Eczema on My Face
My face is really important to me and how it looks and the wellbeing of the skin on my face is pretty important as well. People see your face. People look at your face. People judge your face. People decide whether or not they trust you, based on your face and your eyes. Your face can say a lot about you. For a while, this was my mentality.
First eczema flare on my face
It hurt me to my core when I first started seeing eczema flares on my face. It was so annoying. I felt like my body was failing me yet again. What else could go wrong? I hated my face with eczema. As a child, I experienced light symptoms. Small spots, light itching, nothing major.
Not invested in skin health
I never really thought anything of it. I thought maybe if I moisturized my face, it would go away quickly. Of course me being me, I never did that. If I wasn't under the age of eighteen, with my family controlling my life and schedule, I wasn't invested in my skin at all. As much as I care about how my face looked, I also cared little about what I could do to change the appearance or improve the quality of my skin.
For a while, I told myself I didn't care. I told myself it was something I'd learned to live with, so everyone around me would learn to do the same. I told myself this, but of course, I was never fully convinced.
When my face started to lose its glow, my confidence began to plummet. I tried to hide it, but I honestly don't think I did a good job of that at all. I couldn't hide my lack of confidence in myself. In the same way, I couldn't hide all the damage my eczema had done to my face.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I felt better overnight. I didn't watch self-help videos on YouTube or take some magic pill. There is no top of the line chiropractor waiting to sell you something at the end of this post. My confidence was low and it stayed low for a while.
Not feeling beautiful
I didn't believe in myself because I was blinded by my own pressures of meeting society's standards of "beautiful." I couldn't see that I was already beautiful in my own right. I couldn't allow myself permission to be imperfect, because who knows what could go wrong if I did!?
With a lot of time and a little therapy, my confidence came back. With time, age, and wisdom I realized that while your face and your skin are a part of you, they will never make you who you are. They won't make you special, they won't make you important. They won't give you power or enable you to believe in yourself. Only you can do that, for you.
I still worry about my skin. I still worry about my next face flare. I still question if I have enough makeup to hide a flare "just in case." It's not about being perfect or even giving up the desire to be perfect. It's about embracing your individuality and allowing yourself to be unique.
It's Eczema Awareness Month! Have you shared your eczema story on AtopicDermatitis.net?