Walking into 2019 with Confidence
It's that time of year again! Time to see all of the "new year, new me" posts. For those of us living with Atopic Dermatitis, we unfortunately know that's not true. If it were, I'd have new everything! New arms, new skin, a decent moisturizer - the works! I wish I could change my life around with a phrase or the fact that three hundred and sixty-five days have passed!
Every year I begin January thinking nothing of my condition. I ignore it, but in turn, it seems to bite me in the behind. It's annoying. With the winter being so cold and my skin drying out almost as soon as the clock hits 12:01, often times the "most hopeful" month in the year is the one that brings me the most grief. But, not this year.
New year, new perspective
Although it's not a new me, I am approaching the new year with a new perspective. This year I will not be someone who is constantly criticizing myself. I will not hold myself to some unrealistic standard. I will not allow life, my condition or another person to hold me back or make me feel less than. I am truly going into the new year with a new attitude. I will be fierce. I will be confident. I will be me.
For years it hurt me to my core to hear people talk about my skin. It hurt to watch people judge me. Almost daily. People who knew nothing about me seemed to have so many opinions on my life and made it seem like the look of my skin impacted who I was as a person.
For a while, I even believed it myself. I fell into a depression. A long period of self-doubt. I questioned myself and often asked: Why me? Why was I chosen to be so different? Why do I look so different? Why is my condition so visible?
I am who I am
Now I realize, it's not me with the problem. If people want to judge me, I welcome them. Go right ahead, silently. To yourself, because I'm not listening. I will not allow someone else's opinion of me to have any impact on how I feel about myself. I know that I am a wonderful person. I am a woman worth knowing. I am not weak, I am not ugly nor am I defective. I am me. Whoever doesn't like it can feel free to leave my life and not join my journey in 2019.
Others will notice
However, I do think the people who choose to stick around will be impressed. Impressed by who I am and who I am becoming. Impressed by my attitude about myself and my outlook on life. Impressed by my determination. Impressed by my confidence.
New year, new confidence
That's my word for 2019: confident.
Confidence in who I am and what I have to offer. I will walk into the new year with my head held high and my arms open wide for whoever would like to join me - atopic dermatitis and all.
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