The Benefits Of Being Single With Eczema
Last updated: September 2023
Since 2012, I have been actively posting on social media about eczema. And in all that time, one running theme that I often hear about is how eczema warriors are afraid that they will never find love or partnership because of their rashes and the appearance of their skin.
Why is romance so important to society?
Many people with and without eczema are very obsessed with romance and trying to have a “normal” dating life. I feel like we are in a time where partnership and being physically attractive are constantly highlighted on an almost god-like level in every form of media. Just existing as an individual does not seem to be considered good enough or good at all in modern society.
How did I play into these standards?
I certainly have bought into this belief myself in the past: I was a serial girlfriend for about 10 years. Since graduating college, whoever I chose to date ended up being my boyfriend. I didn’t really play the field or have fun. It was all very serious business: getting paired off and potentially ready for marriage and starting a family. That was the expectation and that’s what I went along with at the time.
What did I learn from being single?
I was not single again until the pandemic of 2020. And I have learned so many great lessons about how great it is to actually be single with eczema. At this point in my life, it is actually a state of being that I find myself preferring — possibly for the rest of my life.
To some, this might sound dramatic, tragic, or horrifying. But I am finding this state of mind and life to be very liberating, relaxing, and flexible. Having said all that, here are the reasons why I think there are benefits to actually being single with eczema:
There is no one to answer to. This is probably my favorite reason for being single with eczema because I am a free spirit. When you have a partner, you are expected to spend a certain amount of time or they feel neglected. While there can be things to look forward to doing together, if you’re not feeling well enough to do much or go out, it can potentially add more stress instead of fun to your life.
Bouncing off of that, another benefit is that you have less to worry about in terms of how your state of mind and health is going to potentially affect someone else’s day. If I'm in a state where I don't know how my health or my day is going to be because I am going through a bad flare, my plans become unstable. In this case, I do not have the energy to extend to someone else that I need for myself to recover.
And finally, a big benefit to being single with eczema is saving money. Eczema alone is already expensive to deal with when you’re experimenting with several types of treatments, skincare, and supplements to figure out what works for you. Dating is another huge expense with going out, entertainment, dining out, getting gifts for birthdays and holidays on top of that. If you have the income and financial support for that, then enjoy yourself. But if you don't, you don't have to feel bad about “missing out.”
Do I think being in a relationship is bad?
Despite my own current bias, to be honest, I have seen many eczema warriors have successful relationships, marriages, and even pregnancies. Anything is possible. This blog is just for people like me who are independent, free-spirited souls and are also able thrive on their own without being tied to anyone. I just want to create more options for happiness and fulfillment beyond the current paradigm. And this is another perspective to hopefully expand our perception of what it means to be happy and fulfilled with eczema.
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