People Pleasing With Eczema
I’ve always had a hard time letting people go. Growing up, I was always a people pleaser, and I admittedly had co-dependency issues.
It turned out to be one of the biggest things I’ve had to emotionally and mentally heal from. Of course, it is still a work in progress, just as I am, but I have come a long way.
I've had low self worth due to eczema
I think many of us who struggle with health conditions such as atopic dermatitis may turn to “people pleasing” due to low self-worth. I believe it is a wound that runs deep in many human beings, especially for those who deal with conditions such as ours.
I wanted to be accepted by others
We spend so much time feeling ugly, unworthy, and worrying about what others think of us. We want to do everything in our power to make them happy, to make them accept us. But the thing is, we can’t make anyone accept us – nor should we ever have to try.
Those who accept us naturally will love us for exactly who we are, with or without a rash. Those who aren’t meant to be in our lives simply won’t. It really is that simple, but our human mind tends to make it much more complicated.
I've learned a lot from TSW
I used to let people walk all over me and treat me any way they wanted to. Going through topical steroid withdrawal and dealing with eczema my whole life has taught me one of the most important lessons: That I am enough no matter who accepts me. As long as I see that within myself and am stable within myself, someone else’s opinion of me doesn’t matter.
Of course, harsh words and mean looks still sting a bit. We are human, after all. The goal is to get to a point where at the very least, we don’t sacrifice ourselves for someone else. That includes sacrificing our needs, parts of ourselves, and even having to put on masks around someone.
We are worthy of connection
I want relationships where I can be free to be my authentic self. I don’t want to have to wear a mask and want to be able to allow someone to see my true self, whether or not I am in a flare-up. Thankfully, atopic dermatitis has taught me the value of this. It has brought genuine people into my life who truly love me for me.
We aren't our skin
There are always people in this world who are willing to see past our exterior and get to know who we are underneath our skin. We aren’t our outer appearance, after all. We are so much more. Often, we forget that, as human beings in general, but especially struggling with eczema.
We are worthy
We are still worthy of genuine connection, love, and respect. First and foremost, we must believe we are worthy of that. Then we can naturally begin to attract those kinds of people into our life. Those people will be willing to look beneath the surface without judgment. They are willing to hear our truth, lying behind all the “masks.”
It may seem like they are rare, but there are many of us out there. So never diminish your worth for someone else just because they don’t understand you. Perhaps they are not meant to and not meant to be in your life.
Stand in your power and truth, no matter what. You are worthy of love and respect, as much as the next person. Never let your skin make you believe otherwise.
On an average day, how would you rate your level of anxiety related to atopic dermatitis?