Soft + Strong: What I’m Teaching My Son About Our Skin

There are days when I stand still for a second and realize I am teaching him differently. Some days it looks like small things. Like lotion after baths. Or reminding him to drink water. Or running my hands over his skin to catch irritation early on. My oldest son, Osiris, is 7 years old, and he has eczema, too. I knew the minute we saw it when he was 2. I recognized it, not from a doctor’s explanation, but from experience. From years of dealing with it on my own skin. I didn’t fully understand. But now, I have to teach. Because what I struggled to learn on my own, he can learn from me.

I never grew up knowing my skin

I remember eczema stealing so many things and being frustrating to deal with growing up. I didn’t know what we did. What would make my skin angry? I didn’t know how to truly care for my skin or why I even had eczema. And what about the hyperpigmentation? What did that mean instead? So I fumbled my way through. I failed at washing and understanding. I sat embarrassed every time flare-ups happened. Pain hid behind my smile or beneath my clothes. It left me no choice but to give my child what I never knew.

Knowledge.

What I’m teaching him about eczema from the beginning

Knowledge is power. With Osiris, I want him to feel empowered by what he learns about his skin, not afraid. I teach him that our skin needs constant care—not just when we notice something isn’t right. Hydration is a priority, internally and externally. We talk about water all the time.

He knows that drinking water benefits his body. That dry skin can worsen his eczema. What once felt like a task is something he values. He’ll reach for his water bottle without being asked. We also talk about hygiene, and I emphasize that caring for his skin isn’t just about lotion but about building habits that support his skin in the long term.

Teaching him to care for his skin without shame

What I’m most careful about is the way I speak about his skin. I don’t want him growing up feeling ashamed that he has eczema. Or like his skin needs to be corrected or “fixed.” So I speak softly about his skin. We focus on caring for his skin and keeping it happy. While he is still young, I want our relationship with our skin to be about positive reinforcement. Teach him to care for his skin without instilling shame.

Understanding the connection between stress and flare-ups

The last thing I’m teaching him that I learned on my own? Stress.
Yes. Stress can actually worsen your skin—especially if your hormonal imbalance, breakouts, or flare-ups. I used to wonder why I would randomly get a breakout after stressful events. Why my eczema would flare up when I was anxious or dealing with something hard. Someone should have told me sooner that stress affects you—inside and out.

Softness and strength can coexist in eczema care

It is a balance I’m learning to embrace while teaching him. The softness in how I watch his skin or help him bathe. The strength in what I’m teaching him about body autonomy and knowing his body. Softness in the routines we created and the check-ins we do to catch problems early on. Strength in teaching him to be confident in his body and taking ownership of the things that can help him. I want him to grow up knowing his body. Not feeling confused by it.

We can change the narrative for the next generation

Every time he learns something new or reminds himself to drink water, I’m reminded that we can change the narrative for our skin.

We can teach our kids that eczema doesn’t define them—only if we let it. Let confidence become understanding. Let guessing become learning from those who’ve gone before you. Let insecurity grow into confidence. I didn’t know my body like I should have growing up, and I’m determined to give my son that now. Our skin has a story to tell. I want this to be knowledge and empowerment.